all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
