it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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