i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
