I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
