That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
