Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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