my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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