sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
