So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
