I puked a lego.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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