Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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