i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
