1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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