Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
