We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
