what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
