I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
