Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
