i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Help. Why am I so naked?
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