I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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