Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
