My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
