You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
