You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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