i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
