she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
