Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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