i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My bed smells like the plague
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
