I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
