I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize