She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
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