Tell her she can't have a vagina
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
How's work?
Spinning.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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