So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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