so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
