so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
