she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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