we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize