Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
