Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
