i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
