he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
