im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
