we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
