Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i think i just lost a toe
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
