could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
