I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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