I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
