also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she looked like the before picture.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Less talking, more tequila
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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