Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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