I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Randomize
