Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize