My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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