I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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