If i come over, it means nothing
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
