I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
