Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
