thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
