I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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