I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
