There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
