Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
