the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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