I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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