But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
