you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize