She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
