But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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