stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
We smell like vodka and hangover
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