playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
