She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
