My hand turned me down
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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