the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
