i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i don't like sucking hair
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You've changed since you got that strap on
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
we should paint friendship bongs
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