Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
