Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize