I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
